I think a lot of my quest for spirituality stems from needing a reason, a logos, for living. This is something I've always had, a desperate need to feel I am here for a reason. Like the Apollo Astronauts I want to leave my footprints behind me, for a long, long time after I am gone.
I used to think I knew how to do that, but right now I'm having to rethink, and without knowing my logos I'm feeling, almost void, it whatever it is you would call the soul. I'm having to remind myself what it is like to feel real emotion.
And so I was pleased to pick up an old book of poetry from my shelf and find the following poem, by Kuroda Saburo, which brought tears to my eyes, even if just for a second.
I Am Completely Different
I am completely different.
Though I am wearing the same tie as yesterday,
am as poor as yesterday,
as good for nothing as yesterday,
today
I am completely different.
Though I am wearing the same clothes,
am as drunk as yesterday,
living as clumsily as yesterday, nevertheless
today
I am completely different.
Ah ...
I patiently close my eyes
on all the grins and smirks
on all the twisted smiles and horse laughs---
and glimpse then, inside me
one beautiful white butterfly
fluttering towards tomorrow.
- Kuroad Saburo
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